This blog is part of series of articles, parodies and satire based on my thoughts on the trends, reactions and experiences (both individual and shared) of society. Some you may agree with, some you will probably vehemently disagree with and that's absolutely fine.

The content within this site is mostly fictional. Some of the people really exist. Some of the events really happened. But don't bank on any of it by using it in a pub quiz or to sound well-read when conversing with colleagues. Also, to anyone whose name is contained within this site, I know you didn't really do that thing I said you did. I just thought people might like me if I said you did. No need to sue me.

It is in no particular order. It's just one guy, his notebook, a coffee and a dream...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Quickly, make her love you!

Panic broke out yesterday when Daniel Jethew, 27, pulled his 1986 Lebaron alongside a ruby red Nissan Skyline wherein sat long-time acquaintance and long-held crush Lisa Grainger, 25, at traffic signals in Henderson, a suburb of Las Vegas, NV.

Believing he had only seconds to show Ms Grainger he had a sense of humour and sensitivity that is unparalleled in other men, Mr Jethew ignored all thoughts of consequence and began an ill-advised mime, starting with purposefully crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue, then moving on to performing The Robot, a dance made popular 25 years ago. After 17 minutes and improvising approximately 60% of “The Puffy Shirt”, an episode of Seinfeld memorised by Mr Jethew, the real terror began when the showman realised that the traffic signal was indeed broken and neither car was going to pull away.

Mr Jethew is now in psychiatric care awaiting evaluation.